she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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