Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
