I love black thongs
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
