oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is it because I queefed?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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