Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
