I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
