I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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