I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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