tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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