guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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