i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
