well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
