PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
