Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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