I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Your penis caused this!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm always down for nudity.
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