The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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