i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
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Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
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And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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