this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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