I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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