The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I understand Curling. That high.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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