i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
