i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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