what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
