Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
