The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
