Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
