I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
