Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
