My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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