The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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