Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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