Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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