Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
