I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
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Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
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she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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