I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Everyone says I win the strip club
BRING THE BAGELS
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I want a musical about memes.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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