Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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