You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
