The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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