I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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