I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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