weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize