you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
