Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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