i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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