I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
