found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize