I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just invented taco cereal.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
