I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
