also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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