So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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