I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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