"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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