walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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