It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
