Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
