I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
