He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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