Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
