apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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