don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Two words: blizzard sex
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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