puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
