Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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