i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
